Flashback: Halloween 1997

This story takes place back in the way back when, before WH was WH. Back then, he was OB- Older Boyfriend. We had been together almost a year, but this was our first Halloween together. He wanted to take me to a haunted house with some of our friends. I had never been to a haunted house before, but I love scary movies, and it’s kind of the same thing, right?

You get two stories for the price of one here, because on the way to the haunted house, the alternator belt in WH’s car died. We all but rolled into the scariest, nastiest AutoZone I have ever seen before the car died completely. WH went inside, bought a new belt and borrowed some wrench thingy. He stood on his front bumper, used an old screwdriver to hold the whatchamcallit up out of the way, and he put the new belt in, and then he had to hold the aforementioned whatchamcallit way up out of the way so I could tighten the belt. He said “this thing is super-extra-heavy, so as soon as I say go, pull back on that handle (of the wrench thingy) as hard and fast as you can”. So I did just what he said- I pulled back on that wrench handle thingy as hard and as fast as I could. It didn’t move an inch, but I did elbow WH in the eye and send him flying off the bumper of his car and onto his ass in the parking lot.

This man, this incredible Older Man with whom I was already madly in love with looked up at me from the dirty parking lot, through his rapidly blackening eye and said, with so much love…. “Never used a socket wrench before, honey?” Uh, no, I hadn’t. Sorry ‘bout that.

So, at long last, we arrived at the haunted house, which was across the street from another haunted house. They had deals on tickets for both, because, hey, why not? We got our tickets and filed into the first haunted house. It was pretty scary- the darkness, and the narrow hallways, the uneven floors- all of it is supposed to leave you feeling disorientated, and hell, I feel disorientated most of the time anyway. Unbeknownst to me, WH was pointing at me behind my back, encouraging all the ghoulies to scare me. They did, and by the time we got towards the end of the house, I was pretty jittery. We rounded a corner just in time to hear our friend yell “Chainsaw Guy!” WH grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me past the guy wielding the chainsaw, but he was a moment too late. Chainsaw Guy came at me with his chainsaw, just like in all the horror movies I love….

I crumpled into the fetal position, on the floor and screamed and cried. Internet? I screamed and cried so badly that Chainsaw Guy turned off his chainsaw, knelt down on the floor and apologized to me. Haunted house actors are not in the habit of doing this, in case you didn’t know. WH led me out of the house, shocked. He asked me “What happened? You heard the warning, and I tried to pull you with me… Why did you freak out so hard on that guy? It’s not real, and you know it isn’t real….. I don’t get it.”

I was horrified, humiliated- I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Not only had I given my boyfriend a black eye, but I had just collapsed into a sobbing pile at a third rate haunted house in front of his friends. I had absolutely no explanation for it at all. None. We went into the next haunted house, which also ended with Chainsaw Guy, and I did fine. I passed the test. I made it out alive. I have not been to a haunted house since.

Happy Halloween!

Badass: Laid Off

So, WH called work yesterday, just to make sure that he was in a group that didn’t have a dog. They put him in a group with a dog! Badass will be here with me this week. He’s pouting hardcore, because he watched WH pack his backpack a couple of days ago, and he hates it when WH leaves anyway. I’m a little disappointed, as I planned on doing some things with friends after work, and Badass requires fetch and dinner in the evenings. I’m also incredibly relieved, though, because tomorrow is Halloween, and I don’t know that I could have watched scary movies without Badass to protect me from Jason and Michael Myers. Also, many nights I am able to sleep because I tell myself that Badass will alert me to intruders. I guess I could still tell myself that when he does go, but somehow it’s not as convincing.

Badass and I will enjoy another week alone together. I promised to take him to the dog park this weekend, and maybe on another color jaunt, if there is any left! The reds aren’t so hot this year out by us, and the oranges and yellows are about done. I might do a little driving, though, to see if I can find some decent color. What fun would it be without Badass barking at cows and horses out the windows?

Where were you in 1973?

Yeah, so, I have an outline and source list for my history term paper due tonight or tomorrow……

I’ve picked the Second Wave feminist movement: Title X, Roe v. Wade, etc. as my topic, and one of my sources has to be an interview. Damn, damn, damn!

There isn’t a single girl in my office old enough to interview about her personal experience in the late sixties and early seventies. Which says something, I guess, but I don’t know what. Oh, wait, I forgot Purchasing- she’s old enough to remember having to bury food in the ground, which is exactly why I have no interest in interviewing her for this.

My Mom, who is known to crawl right up my ass when she wants some attention, is nowhere to be found. NO. WHERE. I was born in 1979, so I know where she was and what she was doing in 1973, and it’s a perfect interview. She and Dad hadn’t settled down yet- she was still throwing engagement rings out her car window.

Ack! Grr! Ack!

I don’t have to do the interview just this moment, I can put the outline together without it, and I have plenty of other sources to list…. I guess I could just stick her in there… the paper isn’t actually due until Nov. 29th…..

Damn! Grr! Ack!

What were you doing in 1973, internet? How did you feel about Roe v. Wade? How did your community react to the ruling? Any personal experience, or that of a friend, that relates to the nature of Roe? How about Title X and the Second Wave in general? Did these movements hold your interest? COME ON, INTERNET! Help me out here!