Flashbacks: Weird Toes

My quest to be more girly has led me down a dangerous path. I’ve been wearing high heels. Not just heels. High heels. I love them. I’ve never really understood you shoe girls, but I’m with you now. I get it. I still love my cute little flip flops, but there is no substitute for a good pair of heels. Unfortunately, I had forgotten completely why I ever stopped wearing them.

I get weird toes. They aren’t toe cramps. They’re spasms, kind of. My pointer and middle toes get all stuck together, and my foot folds in. It hurts like hell. Sometimes the toes just get stuck together, but sometimes they twitch apart and together. It’s the strangest thing to try to explain.

There are two classic weird toe tales. The first occurred in a crowded part of the Mall of Georgia parking lot. WH’s passenger door was not working properly, so I had to crawl in on his side. I was wearing a pencil skirt, and that limited my leg movements, and my foot folded in and there it was. I started screaming. WH was freaking out, yelling at me, “what’s wrong”, and people were staring. I was in the cab of the truck, so no one could see me pulling frantically at my toes. They were staring at WH like he was hurting me. The look on his face when I pulled my shoe off and he saw my toes all wonked out was incredible. He offered to take me to the hospital, which is not an offer WH makes lightly. I managed to get into my seat and we left. The cramps lasted about 5 minutes.

The second story is much better. I was grocery shopping when the cramps hit, and I immediately sat down on the floor, pulled off my shoe and started pulling on and rubbing my toes. An employee caught sight of me and asked if anything was wrong, and I told him “No, this happens sometimes. It hurts really bad, but I’ll be fine.” Well, I guess I wasn’t convincing enough, because he told his manager and his manager came and got me and checked me out. I had to talk him out of making me call WH. He took the groceries out to my car for me, and as he turned to walk back to the store, he put his hand on my shoulder. “Miss, I hope you’ll come back again, and when you do, you just remember that we have motorized carts for people like you.”

Oh. Dear. Lord.

I had to change grocery stores! A motorized cart! It was horrible.

I don’t want to give up my heels, but I’m not willing to risk being mistaken for someone who has any business using a motorized cart at the grocery store.


6 Responses

  1. Here’s the thing – when wearing high heels it is important that you get the right size (I wore a size too small for years and didn’t know it) or your feet will be cramped and HURT. And I hate to say it but cheap shoes are not made well and when you add in a 3-4″ heel well you’re asking for trouble.

    So enjoy your heels BUT invest in a few nice pair that will last you for YEARS (I’m at a decade on my favorite pair now).

    Let me share with you my new favorite place: http://www.endless.com great prices, free shipping, beautiful shoes. Here’s a tip – click on the women’s shoes at the top, then click on your size in the left column and then right above the shoes sort on Lowest to Highest Price. Sometimes you find GREAT deals like Naturalizer Wedge Sandals for $14.99 (original price over $50) and other times you can get things like $150 Nine West Boots for $35.00 It is shoe shoppers heaven.

    BUT before you do any of that I’d recommend going to a real shoe store (like at Macy’s or something and not PAYLESS) and ask someone to measure your feet for your size. My sister found that when she stopped cramming her foot into a 9W and wore a 10B her feet hurt a lot less. I also went up a size and can’t believe I wore tight shoes for all those years.

  2. Dude I would freak out if that happened to me! So funny.

  3. Oh and take the store up on those motorized carts! They make shopping so much more fun!

  4. Personally I think there is absolutely nothing sexier than a girl wearing high heels.

  5. My toes do that too–I’m so glad that I’m not alone!

  6. hahaha I love that.

    I love heels too, but at work I just can’t wear them. i have to do too much walking around.

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