Message From the Universe

I’ve been in a mood all day. One of those “i don’t even have a glass, much less a half empty one” moods. They just happen sometimes, you get fed up with the same old struggles and the routine of daily life and even the sound of your own voice.

Then I went into my cupboard o’ joy- the place in my office where I keep my snacks.

On top of the cabinet is a cutting I took almost a week ago. I don’t have my camera (cough), but that’s okay. The plant is one of my absolute favorites. I’ve killed a half a dozen. They’re picky- not too wet, not too dry, too much light, not enough light- this plant is almost as high maintenance as I am. I’ve tried to root it forever, and I’ve tried everything. EVERYTHING. Water. Soil. Rooting hormone. No rooting hormone. I even tried bottom heat, such that I could without a heating mat. Every cutting I have ever taken has died. Shriveled up. Rotted out. Gone black and mushy.

Last week, I did some hard core research and found out that what I thought was a ‘silver leaf philodendron’ is actually a ‘satin pothos’. Which, as an aside, fuck Lowes, the lying assholes. How do you root pothos?

You put the cutting in the dark.

Yes, folks, if that poor baby has to rock out on some photosynthesis, it won’t make roots. Eventually it runs itself out of energy trying to make more leaves without the roots to support it.

So I did just that. I took a cutting, put some rooting hormone on it, stuck it in an itty bitty pot, and put it in a dark corner.

When I went into my cabinet this afternoon, I was thinking about endless ruts and cycles, and why my life has not become fabulous since I signed up for email messages from The Universe, and was shaking my fist at the Universe in general, for not sending me what I need NOW, THE WAY I WANT IT, ON MY TIMELINE TOO. Feeling bitter about positive thinking and picking up heads up pennies and doing right by the world. Then I saw it.

My satin pothos is sprouting a new leaf. In plant speak, this means that the cutting has “taken”, and a root system is developing where a week ago, it was just a bare stem with some rootone on it.

I thought that rooting this plant was impossible. I didn’t think I’d ever figure it out. I didn’t think I would ever overcome whatever the problem was. But it isn’t impossible, it happened, I made it happen, I did what I thought I couldn’t do.

Best part?

No smothering it in water and light and fertilizer, singing to it, begging it to grow, talking shit about it behind its back, telling it it didn’t love me or deserve me, asking God to smite it, trying to negotiate with it.

It worked when I left it the hell alone. When I was willing to simply exist alongside it, and allow it to do its own thing.

I’m listening, Universe. I reserve the right to shake my fist at you again, probably before the sun sets, but I hear you loud and clear.