Message From the Universe

I’ve been in a mood all day. One of those “i don’t even have a glass, much less a half empty one” moods. They just happen sometimes, you get fed up with the same old struggles and the routine of daily life and even the sound of your own voice.

Then I went into my cupboard o’ joy- the place in my office where I keep my snacks.

On top of the cabinet is a cutting I took almost a week ago. I don’t have my camera (cough), but that’s okay. The plant is one of my absolute favorites. I’ve killed a half a dozen. They’re picky- not too wet, not too dry, too much light, not enough light- this plant is almost as high maintenance as I am. I’ve tried to root it forever, and I’ve tried everything. EVERYTHING. Water. Soil. Rooting hormone. No rooting hormone. I even tried bottom heat, such that I could without a heating mat. Every cutting I have ever taken has died. Shriveled up. Rotted out. Gone black and mushy.

Last week, I did some hard core research and found out that what I thought was a ‘silver leaf philodendron’ is actually a ‘satin pothos’. Which, as an aside, fuck Lowes, the lying assholes. How do you root pothos?

You put the cutting in the dark.

Yes, folks, if that poor baby has to rock out on some photosynthesis, it won’t make roots. Eventually it runs itself out of energy trying to make more leaves without the roots to support it.

So I did just that. I took a cutting, put some rooting hormone on it, stuck it in an itty bitty pot, and put it in a dark corner.

When I went into my cabinet this afternoon, I was thinking about endless ruts and cycles, and why my life has not become fabulous since I signed up for email messages from The Universe, and was shaking my fist at the Universe in general, for not sending me what I need NOW, THE WAY I WANT IT, ON MY TIMELINE TOO. Feeling bitter about positive thinking and picking up heads up pennies and doing right by the world. Then I saw it.

My satin pothos is sprouting a new leaf. In plant speak, this means that the cutting has “taken”, and a root system is developing where a week ago, it was just a bare stem with some rootone on it.

I thought that rooting this plant was impossible. I didn’t think I’d ever figure it out. I didn’t think I would ever overcome whatever the problem was. But it isn’t impossible, it happened, I made it happen, I did what I thought I couldn’t do.

Best part?

No smothering it in water and light and fertilizer, singing to it, begging it to grow, talking shit about it behind its back, telling it it didn’t love me or deserve me, asking God to smite it, trying to negotiate with it.

It worked when I left it the hell alone. When I was willing to simply exist alongside it, and allow it to do its own thing.

I’m listening, Universe. I reserve the right to shake my fist at you again, probably before the sun sets, but I hear you loud and clear.

10 Responses

  1. “…this plant is almost as high maintenance as I am…”
    That made me LOL for real.

    Interesting sometimes how the Universe lets us know that it isn’t, in fact, ignoring us. I think that patience and “sometimes the answer is no” are a couple of the hardest lessons to learn.

    I’m looking forward to a picture of the plant at some point (of course, I’m also contemplating posting pictures of my tomato plants….)

    • “sometimes the answer is no”- what is this of which you speak? πŸ˜‰

      Here, I’ll twitter a pic from my phone. πŸ˜‰

  2. I love it when simple little things like this manage to put LIFE into perspective. good luck with stepping back a little bit… but if you’ve gotta shake your fist I’ll shake mine with you.

  3. Congratulations on the new life you are ushering into this world. I do not even know how to take a cutting let alone nurse it into a healthy, thriving plant. You should be proud of that, regardless of what the Universe has thrown your way this week. πŸ™‚

  4. I liked reading this.

    A lot.

  5. This is exactly what I needed to read at this moment. Thank you vbc, and ya know, the Universe πŸ™‚

  6. you’re way ahead of me here. i cant keep a plant alive whatsoever. lord knows how i mother a cat.
    and also? tut and his universe messages have been pissing me off lately, so much so that im thinking of telling him to go on hiatus for a few months.
    he’s way too fucking happy at like, 3:34am in the morning when he emails me.

  7. I love when a plant actually takes root. I have been successful with this once. Once out of 20 times or so. Good research and I’m with you, efff Lowes.

  8. It’s nice to know that there are people out there caring for plantlife as opposed to my wife and I, who are the Cholorophyl Nazis.

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