Pride

“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.” ~ Unknown

We all have pride. We are all prideful. My use of the word pride here is not the kind of pride we should have, about doing the right thing or being a worthwhile person. I’m talking about false pride, beta pride- the kind of pride that keeps secrets, tells lies, and destroys relationships. Everyone has it, everyone makes decisions out of pride.

When we do that, we hurt ourselves and everyone around us. We make decisions based on who we want people to think we are (or not think we are), rather than being ourselves. We cheat ourselves out of real help, real acceptance- real anything, really, when we act out of pride.

If I misled you about who or where or what I am, then what would your friendship mean to me? Your comments, your thoughts? It would be meaningless, as I would always have to wonder how you would feel if you really knew.

Where is the line? When is it okay to make a small decision out of false pride- to save face- when disclosure is unneccessary and the transgression is small and insignificant? When does it go from being a normal aspect of human nature to being ugly and awful? Who and what are we willing to lose in the name of pride? What if we were to eliminate that false pride and show more humility? If people who loved us then started to hate us, would it be better to be hated for who you really are, or loved for the false image we set forth?

What do we do when keeping our false pride forces others into shame? At what point does that become about the other person  more than ourselves? Does false pride have a stranglehold on us such that keeping it in tact is worth hurting others? Losing others? Isn’t there real and true pride in sacrificing false pride for the ones you love?

How much does your pride mean to you? What are you willing to lose to keep it?