TMI Thursday: In Which I Discover FWB

TMI Thursday

At the tender age of sixteen, I was hanging out with a group of people who were at least five years older than I was, which I would recommend highly to any teenager, so long as their parents aren’t around to hear me say it.

There was a guy in our little gang who was so handsome, so hot, so incredibly attractive that I was smitten the moment I saw him. As I got to know him a little better, I realized how wild he really was. He was passionate about everything, was a risk taker, was always pushing the envelope. He was the guy that you begged not to talk when the cops showed up, because it would only lead to unmitigated disaster.

I will explain at this point that this guy was Icelandic. He had white blond hair, ice blue eyes and chiseled everything. He was six foot tall and I only wish I had a picture, could post a picture, because my description doesn’t even do him justice. He was smokin’ hot.

So it happened that one night that we found ourselves quite drunk and rather alone. One thing led to another (as it so often does when one finds themselves quite drunk), and the next thing I knew, I was having sex with the hottest man to ever walk the Earth. Of course, because this is my life and not a Molly Ringwald movie, a very irritating chick who was visiting a friend from some other town interrupted us. Which killed the mood, because not two hours previously, she informed us that she was covered in little white bumps, which her doctor told her was a fungal infection she caught from the tanning bed.

It mattered little to me. I had taken advantage of the opportunity of a lifetime.

Until I realized that Fungal Infection told all of our friends what happened.

My girlfriends (again, these girls were at least five years my senior) were horrified with him. They asked me- “So are the two of you dating now?”, and I thought about it for a minute.

“No, I don’t really think so. I really don’t think he has any interest in dating me.”

“Then why did you sleep together? Why did he sleep with you? Why in the blue fuck did you sleep with him, then?”

“Um, because I could? Because I know that he’ll never date me, but who would turn him down?!”

I will admit, I was as confused as they were. I didn’t understand why they were so outraged. We’re friends, I have a huge crush on him, we got drunk, we had sex, end of story. Should I have not slept with him because I knew what was up? But then I never would have slept with the hottest man to walk the Earth, evar?

“This was so wrong of him. He knows how much you like him!”

Okay, but he didn’t tell me that he loved me? He didn’t say that we would be together. He just started nibbling on my ear, and I didn’t stop him. I encouraged him. It never occurred to me at any point to stop and say “hey, what are the chances of you ever buying me dinner”?!

He and I spoke about it once, briefly. He asked me if I understood that our little escapade was not the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I nodded. He asked me if I was okay with that, or if I felt taken advantage of. I told him that I was fine with it, that I would have loved to date him, but that I knew that was unrealistic, and had never really thought otherwise?

We remained friends for years afterward, and there were a few inappropriate moments peppered here and there, but nothing as glorious as that first night. I think he was afraid of my friends.

So that, my lovely freaders, is when I figured out a few important things:

Sex and love are two very, very different things, and you can have one without the other- in fact, I would gain to say that having the two of them together is something of a rare bird.

Women have to have a connection with a man to sleep with them, no matter what you try to tell me. If you don’t care about someone on a very basic level, it’s not happening.

That feeling that you get from having sex without love- that gnawing guilty/wanting to turn his spare bedroom into a nursery feeling? It’s biology, folks. In case you get knocked up. What do you do with that feeling? Acknowledge it and dismiss it. It’s not doing you any good unless you are, in fact, knocked up.

The ending of this story might be better than the story itself.

Two years later, when the ex and I crossed paths with this guy as a couple? We chatted idly for a few minutes, and he asked my new boyfriend if we were dating. When the ex confirmed that we were, he smiled, leaned over and said: “Good for you, man, you’ve got a live wire there…”

Not only did I sleep with one of the hottest men in the world, but I got a rave review.  Does it get any better than that?

Happy TMI Thursday!

10 Responses

  1. Okay, two things.
    One, where is he now?
    Two, is he still as smokin’? Because honey, you are HOT HOT HOT now. Git ’em.
    A rave review for sixteen year old sex? I bow to you. (I didn’t even suck. That would have implied talent. I caught on though.)

    One, he was married the last time I ran into him. To one of the aforementioned horrified friends.

    Two, I have no doubt that he is every bit as hot as he ever was.

    Three, who me? Hot? 😉

  2. “Blue fuck”??

    Consider that stolen…

    sweet. color me honored. 😉

  3. […] verybadcat’s TMI Thursday: In Which I Discover FWB […]

  4. Hmmm, I have never in my lifetime had the “want to turn his spare bedroom into a nursery” feeling. I HAVE, however, had the “I know how good that is and don’t want to share it even though it will never be mine to have full-time” feeling. And then I look at the woman he dumped me for and ended up marrying and wonder what the hell was so bad about me that I got dumped for THAT.

    I don’t blame your 16-year-old self for taking advantage of the situation.

    And I had a whole 10+ year marriage where he never once, ever, bought me dinner…

    Well, the whole point of the “nursery” phrase was to convey that it’s more of a nesting, security-wanting, domestic urge than true looooooove, which is where most girls get in over their heads, I think. They don’t understand the subtle difference.

  5. I think the most horrific part of this episode was the fungal girl. I mean, I realize my standards are probably pretty low, but I think that if I ever found out about tiny white bumps all over someone’s fungus infected body, it would result in an instant deal-breaker.

    You’re right, she was AWFUL. She smelled funny, she had a mullet, and she pulled her shirt up at dinner to show us all her nasty belly rash and informed us as to what it was and how she got it… ewwwwwwwww. All she really did was ruin my good time a few minutes early and run her mouth, though. She had *nothing* to do with the lovin’.

  6. My first read and I’m already hooked, Cat!
    Love the subject material of this one! :p

    Heh. 🙂 Glad you like it….

  7. “Not only did I sleep with one of the hottest men in the world, but I got a rave review. Does it get any better than that?”

    No, I don’t believe it does. High five!

    *curtsy* thank you, thank you. i’ll be here all…well, forever. 😉

  8. Hey, he kept it real. And he was hot. Why wouldn’t you have fucked him?

    Exactly. What am I going to do, wish on my deathbed that I hadn’t? Hardly!

  9. Fun story, he sounds like a neat guy. But in particular I enjoyed your attitude towards the whole thing.

    It’s not often that I’m *complimented* on my attitude, rather than being *reprimanded* for it… 😉

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