Fifty Nine and Thirty Three

Happy Birthday, Mama, and Happy Anniversary. You’re fifty nine years old and have been married for thirty three years. Those are two huge accomplishments.

How did we get here, Mama? How did we get to the place where I call you to wish you a happy birthday and happy anniversary, and then proceed to discuss the ending of my own marriage? The place where you enjoy your day not just because it’s your birthday and your wedding anniversary, but because tomorrow you will go and have your body pumped full of poison that will take almost the whole three weeks you have between treatments to release you from it’s side effects? What happened to the world? What’s happened to us?

Speaking of us. How did we get here? How did we get from near enemies to supporting each other in our struggles and loving each other again? Will it last? Or will I call you in a few weeks to hear that strained tone and pointed questions and backhanded comments? Sometimes I wish I knew. Other times I understand that if I did know, I couldn’t enjoy you when you are enjoyable.

For today, though, it was enough to have the side of you that I love so much. To call and hear your warm and happy tone of voice. To know that you are as healthy as you can be. To soak in your kind words and your loving concern. To hear you interrupting and correcting Daddy when it’s his turn to talk. To hope, with good reason, that there is a fifty and thirty four, and a fifty one and thirty five. Today, all of that was enough. It was more than enough.

I love you, Mama. I can’t send you a trinket to open, but I’m sending you love, gratitude, relief and hope in bucketfuls. Happy Birthday, and Happy Anniversary.

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2 Responses

  1. Today is a great day for a birthday ! (My baby girl’s nineth birthday is today too ! ) Happy birthday to the girls ! Cattails . . . my birthday wish for your mom is that she has restored health and that she is able to have many many more talks with you – where in you both can cherish each other.

  2. You can’t see it, but I’m raising my glass to toast.

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