What I Want

Okay, internets. It’s immaturity time. I put all that wisdom in my hope chest, today it’s time to make a list of things I want. Just in case God or the Universe or some rich person that is just smitten with me is reading.

  • An entire day spent under hot sun, near cool water, with a bottle of Banana Boat tanning oil, a comfy lounge chair, soft fluffy beachtowels, and a neverending vodka and pineapple juice. Fuck the book- I don’t even want to exert that much mental energy. The entire purpose would be to soak in all the vitamin D possible, and taking the “office chalk” skin down to a “she was outside, once,  at some point” level.
  • To place a $50 order at drugstore.com that has been wish listed for eons. I just wanna send the whole list to my cart and hit CHECKOUT.
  • I want a hot tub. Because if I could come home from work and get into a hot tub every night? I might be the happiest girl in the world.
  • I want an extra $800 a month that no one in the household has to work for. Rich people have this- they just get random checks for shit. Assets and investments and stuff.  Sign me up.
  • I want everyone, including me, to have a light planted in their forehead. It would activate when you were looking at someone, and if you were happy with them and you cared about them, it would light green. If you were getting on their nerves a little, but they didn’t totally hate you, it would be yellow, and if you were trying to engage someone in conversation that was just absolutely annoyed and disgusted with you, it would be red. So you could walk up to people, look at the light, see it being red, and turn right the hell around. Think of how much time we all could save. And awkwardness.
  • I want to take a cozy, half naked, favorite blanket nap, in the middle of the afternoon, and I want to be woken up to a yummy dinner. Don’t care what dinner, as long as it’s the first thing I smell when I get woken up, and it’s easy to clean up.
  • Pretty, comfy, non flip flop sandals to wear to work.
  • A few sundresses.
  • For all the animals to be happy and healthy all at once. No worms, no boo boos, no fights, no getting stuck down in the basement and wailing at the top of their kitty cat lungs.
  • For my friend to get out of the hospital so that I don’t have to go visit him tomorrow and see him all tubey and sick and wormy.
  • For my Mom to be stricken with some strange ailment that prevents her from speaking. EVER.
  • More than one pair of shorts.
  • A whole day with my friends- going out to breakfast, window shopping, pedicures, and sushi. Booze, too.
  • Prescriptions that never expire or run out of refills for Ativan and Flexaril.
  • A credit account at the ABC store.
  • A large, lush herb garden.
  • Some kind of foot cleansing device that would prevent me from bringing pet hair and rhododendron bloom trash into my tub on the bottom of my feet.

What do you want?


8 Responses

  1. Traffic lights in the forehead…haha…but, I swear the light was pink…lol

    When I get rich, I promise, as a friend, I will make this list come true…hold your breath, OK? 😉

  2. Okie… I like this!

    I want:

    – Enough money to pay off my debt and be able to move the stuff I wanna move to a less cold location.

    – A new, small, fuel efficient car with the insurance paid for a year would be super.

    – To be able to afford my own house in my new location Doesn’t have to be fancy. Would like Master Bedroom, small Guest room and office/den (+ standard rooms that are in a house). Tub designed for soaking would be a bonus.

    – A decent job in my new location. Telecommuting would be wonderful. Alternatively, the resources to be able to pay my bills and live comfortably whilst creating bath products and lip balms.

    – To be able to get together with my favorite bloggers quarterly for a weekend of debauchery, fun, and blog fodder!

  3. I want to win the lottery.

    Be debt free.

    Not have to work EVER again.

    A beach house, in Hawaii,

    A miracle.

  4. I want an audible backup alarm system.

    Oh, no wait…

  5. Fantastic list!

    Right now I want, a job, enough money to be comfortable and not in debt and a simple home to call my own.

    And I want an iphone. and a camera. and a break.

    huh. apparently i could go on and on 😉

  6. I want a life that doesn’t make me feel like I’m on some fucked up carney ride that’s broken and won’t stop.

  7. To have my medical mysteries solved
    To have a new job
    To have my novel completed and an agent picked
    To have an extra $800 a month (I’d damn near kill for this as well)

  8. Lady, your wish for your Mom, to never speak ever, is the best wish ever! I have wished similar, but that one is absolutely PERFECT!

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