Let Down

I’m surrounded lately by people who have been let down by their loved ones. People who don’t understand things that they should. People who haven’t treated others with the respect, dignity and love that they should. People who may love and care deeply, but are prevented somehow from showing that in a way that speaks to the heart. People who, perhaps, don’t give enough weight to their words and actions, or lack there of, who underestimate the importance of their support to the people in their lives.

It puzzles me. I know I’ve let people down. I know that sometimes I’ve not been able to be who they need me to be. I know that there are messages I haven’t sent. I’m not exempting myself. When I have let someone down, and have been aware or been made aware of it? There are generally a few ways it goes. Sometimes I let people down against my will, like not having the money to attend out of town weddings and graduations. This isn’t anything I can help or anything intentional, and most people understand. Sometimes, people have had unrealistic expectations of me- expecting me to know things without being told, or thinking I’m more engaged that I actually am. I feel horrible about these situations, because they tend to hurt the most, and I feel some fault at not setting clearer expectations or sending clearer signals.  The third scenario is when I understand what people expect from me and I have the resources to meet those expectations, but for whatever reason, I don’t. There isn’t a whole lot that makes me feel worse that outright dropping the ball. When this happens, I’m honest, and open, and regretful.

I don’t see that happening around me. I see people dropping the ball and skipping off into the sunset, blissfully unconcerned with the destruction they’ve laid in someone else’s world. Yes, it makes me angry, but more than that? I just don’t get it. I don’t understand how people can hurt one another and let each other down and never acknowledge it or make it right. I certainly don’t understand how they can turn around and try to act like it never happened.

With all this disappointment and perceived rejection floating around, I’m left to wonder- do we expect too much of each other?

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6 Responses

  1. Man, can I relate to this one. I have very high expectations of people and it upsets me when people don’t live up to their potential. But I’ve also learned that everyone has to take their own road. I don’t think I could ever stop expecting people to be do the right thing, but I now try to let it go or see it as their own battle and not mine when people are selfish, greedy or just plain rude. Still infuriating at times though, for sure…

  2. I feel you babe, I know you’re feeling my pain. I’m tired of being hurt and hurting. I’m sick of friends and family, it’s just too much right now.

  3. This is the Me Generation. We’re too absorbed with our Blackberries and our Tweets to give a fuck about anybody else. To care. To help mend. To listen.

    Wait– what the fuck was this post about?

  4. It might not be that we expect too much but that we expect certain things to come in certain packages. We expect love and support to take one form and they often take another.

    Also, people have a hard time helping if they cannot read your mind and you do not tell them exactly what you need/want. I think that’s probably the biggest problem.

  5. I think when we stop expecting and having trust in people then you start to miss out.

    Yes, sometimes you get hurt but sadly that’s all part of the bigger picture.

    Meh.

  6. The problem is not other people, it is the expectations that we have of ourselves and how we are there (or not there) for others. When we have high expectations of ourselves, it tends to disappoint us when others don’t do the things we see as natural and normal.

    Those that have no expectations for themselves, don’t see what they are doing to others, they are oblivious to the hurt feelings, the disappointment, the frustrations that they cause in others.

    So be proud of yourself that you recognize the shortcomings of yourself and others. It shows that you know of what you feel. Be thankful that you are aware and not oblivious. It makes you one of the good guys.

    You know I know from experience!

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