Compromised

Have you ever agreed to something, and felt good about it at the time, and it was fine-  until you started thinking about it, really thinking about it? Then it starts to upset you and make you angry? But you’ve already compromised? And you don’t want to rock the boat? Or punish anyone? Or be the bad guy? So you have to suck it up? But it kills you? And you start to get angry that you were even put in the position to compromise? But in the end it’s not a big deal? But the point of the matter is? And your feelings weren’t hurt, but now they are? And you can’t address it, because you’re tired of negotating and communicating and being difficult? Plus you know that you’re about out of difficult and whiny points? But you somehow wish you could take words out of your mouth? Or that you didn’t have to compromise? But you don’t really not want to compromise, as much as you don’t want to have to compromise? And you’re wondering why it is that you’re doing the compromising, when the need for compromising has little to nothing to do with you?

Do you ever concentrate on petty things so that the bigger, larger, overriding issues in your life aren’t front and center?

Do you ever do fairly frivolous things (like blogging), when you have lots of very important things to take care of and hard deadlines to meet?

Do you ever do silly things to distract yourself from waiting for the phone to ring? Like stuffing it in a desk drawer and walking laps around the building?

Do you ever feel like sometimes your life is just one big compromise, and you’re tired of playing nice?

Do you ever wish that there was a delivery service that could bring anything you wanted or needed to your office?

Did you ever want to catch a break, just once? Have you ever felt like not getting something you want and need would end up killing you because it would just evaporate the last little bit of hope and sanity you ever had left?

Do you ever wish you had the time to do things well, instead of just getting them done?

Do you ever wish you could shut your feelings off for a few hours or days?

Do you ever wish that someone knew exactly how you felt, didn’t ask, didn’t pester, didn’t double check, but just knew, and did exactly the rightest thing you needed right then? Without you ever having to tell them?

What do you wish, internet?

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5 Responses

  1. Um, the answer to all of your questions is YES, I totally do those things. Right there with you, chiquita…

  2. totally!! I always thought it was a Libra thing…

  3. I feel that much of this might relate to me. Does it make it any better if I told you I was home by 2:30 cause things were just weird and decided not to stay to late? I love you and you deserve a break.

    • Some of it did, but hardly all. Yes, I was quite pleased to wake up all wrapped up in you. 🙂 I love you too.

  4. I think I just answered YES a billion times. And tonight I was thinking how much I can accomplish when I write a list and then do it after work instead of getting sucked in the computer (which I love, of course) but it’s like. ah. balance. that’s what that feels like.

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