The Wolfman Cometh

So my boss is in the office this week. Yeah, I’m talking about that guy that goes from being an almost tolerable human being to a complete douchebag in .6 seconds. We’ll see how that goes, and whether or not he’s more or less well behaved when Hot Bob is around. Yes, that means Hot Bob will be here too, and believe it or not, I’m not super happy about that.

I’m pretty sure (as sure as anyone dare be under the current economic climate) that my job is secure. Logical me is, anyway. Paranoid, neurotic and emotional me could not go to sleep last night because she thought she had finally realized the Master Plan to shitcan her ass this week. (Senior Manager I like who protects and defends me = out of the office this week + unstable bossman + Hot Bob’s sudden appearance on my side of the Mississippi + rumors the HR is accompanying Hot Bob + The Universe’s Fatal Error (I should be living under the I-240 overpass- see “x= death + pestilence + famine”)= OMFG AM LOSING JOB AM A FAILURE AM GOING DOWN IN FLAMES WHAT IS SURVIVAL PLAN? Step one: acquire cardboard boxes.

Those 3 am panic attacks look so silly by the light of day. We would totally fufill a suicide pact before we lived under an overpass.

Anyway. Today is my last day of peace and freedom until Friday. At some point on Friday, all our Desert peeps will go back from whence they came, and I will be free again to make questionable dress code choices and resume my sailor-like vocabulary.

Some people would argue that I’m lucky, because my boss is normally 3 hours behind me and a few thousand miles away. To them, I say not so. Working for a year without a boss breathing down my throat and looking over my shoulder has ruined me for life. Am not used to someone dictating my lunchbreak, suggesting that I’ve exceeded the tasteful limit of plants in one space, and generally scrutinizing everything I do from my pedicure to a comment he overheard in the breakroom. I’m like a horse that doesn’t get ridden enough to stay broken in.

Is there at least one decent liqour soaked corporate dinner in it for me? Because if I’m not getting shitcanned, I could really go for a rare steak and some vodka…..

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8 Responses

  1. dude my boss is always here…

    and that alone, is enough to piss me off most days.

  2. I kid you not – our company’s VP is ridiculously nice and seems to like me a lot but yet every time he calls me into his office, I immediately assume that I’m fired and start packing up my things. Usually he’s just checking up on the status of a client. The crazy hurts sometimes.

  3. That’s what I’ve loved about my freelancing experiences.. no boss to micromanage me.

    Also, I’ve had way more than my share of panic attacks in regards to real or imagined plans to pinkslip me.

    Hoping it is not too awful for you, that the week goes quickly and that you get to hold onto your job. Some days it may not seem like much, but a job is a good thing to have at the moment (because finding a new one is way too stressful!)

  4. I’m with Ben… I’m super lucky and my boss is amazing, but everytime he wants to “talk” I’m absolutely positive that I’m fired. Maybe I shouldn’t blog so much from work…

  5. Well, being a career student I can offer very limited, if any, advice on how to deal with superiors/bosses.

    But you should remember my rule of thumb: Anything thought up or decided after midnight is generally a bad idea, maybe about 95% of the time. I leave the 5% for inspiration that comes when pulling an all-nighter. But most ideas you have at 3AM aren’t going to be good ones and probably won’t hold water in the light of day. I hope that quells any fears you have, haha.

  6. Have you ever thought of a really funny, piss-yourself joke at 3am, wrote it down, and then looked at it in the morning?

    Mark Twain once said, “We are never quite sane in the night.”

    I say, “At 3am, we’re all basically retarded.”

    Don’t sweat it.

  7. ick. i totally know what you mean- if the boss has gotta be there, it’s better that he’s there all the time so you can get used to each other and it’s much easier for him to see how much you really DO for him.

    week will be over before you know it- and you’re job won’t be:)

  8. You worry too much. If he fired you, who would do his job? Didn’t he just tell you he was more likely to go than you? You can do his job… for half the price!
    I’m sure the companies master plan is to pay for your school to convince you you’re not being shit canned, only to do so at the most inconvenient moment of our lives. I would worry more about biology. : )

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