Wax On, Wax Off

I hate shaving. Here, maybe I was unclear: I HATE SHAVING. I hate the extra time it takes, I hate the way my hip threatens to come out of it’s socket as I try to shave right were my ankle starts when I’m in the bathtub. I hate the stubble. I hate finding and keeping shave gel or whatever, and I usually just use old shampoo.

Interwebs, I’m not too shy to tell you- I do a lot of shaving. A lot. And I would do more, if it didn’t entail getting into some incredibly delicate areas without the best line of sight and with a sharp razor. I’m sure you follow me here.

Waxing has always intrigued me. I had my eyebrows waxed before my wedding. The first one hurt so badly, I tried not to let them do the other, but my Mom would have none of that, particularly a week before my wedding. I’m kind of a wuss.

However, if I only had to wax every 8 weeks, that would be worth the pain. No shaving, and eight weeks of smoothness. Not to mention that I’m pretty sure that waxing my bikini line and beyond won’t give me watery eyes and that painful sneezy feeling.

Professional waxing is just out of the question at this point. Hard to justify paying for that when your budget is based on beating disconnect dates. Ten dollars, on the other hand, for pain and freedom in a box, is a whole other matter.

Imagine my horror upon opening the box and reading the instructions to find that I have to let everything grow out to at least 1/4″ before I can use hot wax to rip it all out by the root. Because I was horrified. At first, I thought, well, this won’t take long. I was wrong. It is taking entirely too long. My legs are really straggling behind everything else, and the winner for fastest regrowth would be the bikini line. It’s been about a week.

To tell you the truth, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I’m quite disgusted by my pre-wax stubble. There’s nothing wrong with body hair, on other people. Me? I’ve been so used to not having any that I much, much prefer it. Worse than catching a glimpse of a decidedly neglected armpit is the itching.

This shit itches so bad, ya’ll, that I’m going to have to go ahead and start this new adventure tonight, because if this goes on much longer, well. Let’s just say that it’s okay for WH to catch me scratching, but it’s probably not a career booster.

Wish me luck. WH said he would help with my legs only. He simply won’t be responsible for any damage resulting anywhere else. What the hell good is that? My lovable, manly husband is too squeamish to handle female grooming realities. He loves the result, but wants nothing to do with the process. I can’t really say I blame him.ย  So this is a solo mission.

If you have any tips for me, please share. I need all the help I can get. ๐Ÿ™‚


8 Responses

  1. We tried to wax our legs in college and I just gave up because it was taking way to long for my leg hair to grow out to the stupid 1/4 inch. I tried waxing my bikini line, but it was way to awkward to do it myself, and when I didn’t pull my skin taught enough it hurt like a bad word and bruised like crazy. I wish you all the luck and let us know how it goes.

  2. Not sure what you bought to wax with, but I’d strongly suggest you not use it under your arms. I did that once and my pores actually BLED after I yanked the wax strip off!! OHHH, did they hurt for a couple days! The irritation that followed was a nightmare. You might find a hydrocortisone lotion to slather on afterwards – it does help get rid of the redness and any swelling (and yes, I said swelling). I know Sally Beauty Supply sells some. And those Sally Hansen wax strips that are sold over the counter at places like Wal-Mart and Walgreens? No ma’am. Uh uh. Don’t do it. They are a joke and will bring more pain than results.

    Happy waxing!

  3. Yeah the key is to stretch the skin super duper tight. Also a dusting of baby powder first to remove oils and keep the wax from sticking to your skin and only pull out the hair is a good idea.

    I have no idea how you could reach to do the nether regions on your own though. You may have to beg WH for help or it won’t work.

    I would much rather shave my legs than let them grow out to the length necessary to wax. I cannot abide stubble when sliding into bed it drives me insane. I could probably let the bikini line go that long but couldn’t ever let anyone else wax it and know I can’t do it myself so I keep shaving.

    The eyebrows – I get them waxed with every hair appt and sometimes once in between – other times I tweeze in between because every 8 weeks just doesn’t cut it for my eyebrows. Really every 2 weeks would be best if I could find the time.

  4. I’ve been lamenting over my battle with the hair since having kids, which seems to have accelerated things to warp speed. No words of wisdom or advice…just an unfortunate kinship over hair ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. the wait time between waxing is the WORST part of waxing. I’m too impatient

  6. Ok, since I do this (and it was kind of tricky in the beginning) I will give you some of my own hard-earned (or hard-waxed) wisdom that has made this into a pretty easy routine by now:

    Wash skin and dry it extremely well before hand. If your skin gets any moisture on it after a while, take a break, wash again and dry it carefully before continuing. Any moisture will make things a lot harder.

    Like several people posted above: hold the skin super duper tight. This can be tricky, especially under the arm & other delicate areas, but it is super important since it help you avoid bruising and pain.

    Do not use the come-in-the-box wax strips, or any other paper-ish wax strips. Use strips made of cloth, like a bed sheet quality (I make my own). Good quality strips make a huge difference.

    Good light and a large mirror. Seriously.

    Use a after-waxing lotion/tonic after, and exfoliate religiously in between waxing. This helps prevent ingrown hairs.

    Anti-histamines helps even with non-allergy-related itching.

    Good luck!

  7. Um, I’m a HUGE wimp. I’m just going to wish you luck.

  8. I think I’m going to stick with shaving– I wouldn’t want to wait in between.

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