The Scent of a Very Bad Cat

Girls are supposed to have a trademark scent, yes? I lost mine early this year.

For twelve or thirteen years, I have worn Tendre Poison by Dior. When WH and I started dating, he commented on the intoxicating scent and the name, which he felt was an apt description for me. (See how he lured me in, ya’ll?) I was seventeen, and here was this twenty-one year old man telling me I was tender poison. Oh, those were the days! ~deep sigh~

If you’ve ever smelled it, it’s pretty heady. It has some light, green notes that make it much lighter than Poison, but still- it’s a loud scent. It sings at full volume. Which, again, is a pretty accurate description of me and and my personality. It was a great signature scent for me. Until.

Until WH starting working with a girl who wore it. She happened to be a very sweet lady, who happened to weigh about 350 pounds, and her Tendre Poison trademark scent also had the not-so-slight hint of flop sweat to it. He came home that night and asked me to retire it- forever. She ruined the association for him, completely and wholly. I was a little surprised that a decade of our history together wasn’t more powerful than undertones of flop sweat, but still, when your husband tells you that your perfume reminds him of a 350 pound sweaty girl he works with, you don’t argue.

I took a break from perfume for awhile. I didn’t know what I wanted, I was a little ill over having my hand forced, and I just couldn’t fathom a replacement. I screwed around with some Bath and Body Works scents here and there, but I couldn’t commit to Absolute Tulip or even the resurrection of Honeysuckle. I used to use the honeysuckle stuff with the Tendre Poison- they made a good match. Bath and Body Works is an evil company. They introduce scents I love, and then when I’m good and hooked…. BAM! Discontinued. This is not the place to start a new long term relationship. The risk is too great. Besides, the B&BW stuff is great once and awhile, but it does not a signature scent make. Maybe I just associate it too heavily with high school.

Well, internet, I’m sure that the anticipation of what some crazy bitch that writes on the interwebs decided to do about her perfume is just killing you. I’m sure that you will be relieved, amazed and overjoyed to read that I have found a replacement. A new signature scent.

Allure. It’s a Chanel perfume (I may or may not have some expensive-ass taste. Just sayin’), and where Tendre Poison was a full throated song, this is more of a whisper. Think Stevie Nicks v. Allison Krause. WH approves, which was the main factor. Of course I’m not going to wear anything I don’t like, so after it passes my muster, his opinion is the most important criteria.

Here’s the description of the scent from Chanel: an innocent seduction without artifice, an unforgettable elegance transcending words and conventions. I think I have the innocent seduction thing down. At least that’s what people (read: WH) tell me. As far as unforgettable elegance, well, that’s a lot to live up to. I might have to quit randomly tripping over invisible shit and stop spilling coffee on my pants (with the short legs). Maybe the scent will transform me? πŸ˜‰

So there you have it. The end of an era. New beginnings. The evolution of a woman.

Or, you know, maybe just a post about perfume. This might be an excellent example of my taking myself too seriously.


8 Responses

  1. Okay. This may be my terrible nose but there’s a certain Chanel (no5 maybe?) that smells exactly like chalk. Burnt chalk. Being shoved up by nostrils.

    It makes me upset. Like I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.

    I wear Clinique’s Happy, Chanel’s Platinum Egoiste, or Armani’s Aqua Di Gio.

  2. You’re so lucky…

    My husband hates perfume, DESPISES it. He gets upset if I wear deoderant that has a strong scent. So I haven’t smelled pretty in three years. Sigh…

  3. So true. Every girl has their smell.

    I still get knocked back when I smell my ex’s perfume at parties randomly. Nothing can prepare you for that!

  4. My husband would have NO idea what perfume I wear! Haha. I love that your WH is so involved. πŸ˜€ I’ve smelled Allure– LOVE it!

    (Found you through Kateastrophe, BTW)

  5. ha, it’s okay to have a whole post about a perfume. i did it back in the spring. glad you found a new scent!

  6. SO@24 totally nailed the male component of this subject.

    …but what is flop sweat? And, would you mind if I named a band after that?

  7. Ben: Aqua Di Gio. Are you *sure* we haven’t ever slept together? πŸ˜‰

    Jen: My Dad is the same way.

    SO@24: It’s amazing how the faint scent of our past can bring us to our knees, isn’t it.

    Brillig: Glad to have you. Added you to my reader. πŸ™‚

    Brookem: thanks for stopping by! Glad I’m not the only one to place such significance on perfume. πŸ™‚

    Nico: flop sweat is that kind sweat you have when you’re nervous. It’s not that “it’s hot in here” sweat, or that “whew, that was a workout” sweat. It usually smells sour. I think it would make a rockin’ band name. πŸ™‚

  8. I don’t wear perfume on a regular basis. My natural smell is shampoo, hairspray and deodorant. πŸ™‚ Hubby has no preference but when I do put anything on it’s Clinique Happy.

    Hubby wears Lagerfeld – it’s nice and subtle and manly. He ran out once and we couldn’t find any so I got him some Drakkar – BAD IDEA – he smelled like an ex and it was a bad memory! LOL I ordered him two giant bottles of Lagerfeld online soon after that and continue to buy it for him through Amazon – he can NEVER wear the Drakkar again EVER! LOL

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