Flashback- 1994

When I was a sophomore in high school, I started having trouble with my cycles. (Guys- stick with me here- I promise you won’t regret it.) My mom, in her usual style, shrugged me off. That was until the school attendance office called her and told her to come pick me up and seek medical attention on my behalf or they were calling DEFACS. I was soaking my jeans in blood and had gone fetal on them. My cramps were so bad I thought I was dying.

So she finally left work and took me in to the doctor. After some unpleasant tests, it was determined that I had beign ovarian cysts. Treatment prescribed: birth control pills.

I was incredibly grateful to have an answer and a solution, something to, *ahem*, stem the bleeding. I was also incredibly grateful that the solution to the first problem was also going to solve another problem. Yep, getting a birth control prescription for medical reasons at 14 meant that I would not have to have a more awkward discussion when I started to have sex (which, at 14, I knew was going to be a few years, at least). Score!

My father happened to be visiting that weekend, which may have had something to do with my Mom’s willingness to actually, I don’t know, take care of me. He filled the prescription. When he got home, I was in bed, watching tv as I faded in and out of a delicious demerol haze.

He came into my room, tossed the prescription on my bed and leaned into the door frame.

“I had hoped that I would have this conversation with you at a much later date, but because know we’ll never know when it was time, I’ll tell you now. Be sure to remember. The pill will keep you from getting knocked up, honey, but it won’t keep you from gettin’ the AIDS. Be careful!”

As if that wasn’t enough of a birds and bees lecture, some months later he supplemented it:

“When you meet someone, you should get to know them before you sleep with them. A month is reasonable. If you meet someone really special, maybe two weeks, but don’t rush into anything.”

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2 Responses

  1. Wow – very different than my parents who said something along the lines of – “have sex before you’re married and we will disown you and throw you out on the street.” No wonder I waited until I was 23 I was petrified they would somehow KNOW!

  2. My mom put me on the pill at 13. Every one of my female cousins was pregnant by 16, and my mom was determined that I wouldn’t follow in their footsteps. So she took me and said “I hope you won’t need this until you’re married, but just take the damn pill”. 17 years and 0 children later, I think she made the right decision…

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