Badass: Banned!

Badass is a well trained, well behaved dog. We take him everywhere with us, and everyone loves him. Even my MIL, who’s heart is a little, black, shriveled up walnut loves Badass and allows him in her house, even in our bed with us in the spare room. Everyone loves Badass except R.

R is kind of a pain in the ass. So am I; that’s part of the reason we love each other so much. Except R really pissed me off and hurt my feelings yesterday. WH brought Badass over to her house Friday night, and she didn’t really say anything at the time, beyond her required grumbling. He was a perfect angel- didn’t get into anything, or knock anything over a la tail of destruction. He didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed on the couch, but other than that, he was the picture of perfection.

So I was kind of amazed when, at lunch yesterday, in front of B and another member of our little group, she totally called me out on taking Badass everywhere with us, and told me straight out that Badass is Doggie Non Grata at her place.

Granted, it’s her house, and she has a right to her rules. She really doesn’t have any good reasons, though, and I feel like it’s a power trip. She gets really upset when I decline to go somewhere with her after work if Badass has been home alone all day. She was angry that I didn’t spend the night with her after her bachelorette party because I couldn’t leave Badass home alone all day and night. There have been several times that she’s tried to talk me into leaving him alone in the house for 12+ hours, telling me that she’ll help me clean up the dog shit I would inevitably find if I did that. That horrifies me, because the mess isn’t the point. You don’t take on the responsibility of an animal to abandon it for hours on end to go drinking or shoe shopping.

Internet, I know this sounds crazy, but it’s like she’s jealous of the dog.

Anyway, I’m still pissed about it, and WH and I decided that if going over to her house requires leaving Badass home alone, we aren’t coming. I’ll go there for lunch during the week, or stop for a drink on the way home, but as far as “we’re having a party”, or “will you come over for dinner on Saturday”, the answer is no.

So, internet, I ask you… which one of us is the unreasonable bitch?


4 Responses

  1. The thing is some people are not animal people. And even some people that are animal people don’t want other people’s animals coming over. So I think she was rude to bring it up in person, I think it is not being totally unreasonable for her to not want you to bring your dog to her house.

    My sister kept Xavier overnight for us once in a pinch and he was brought in and welcomed into the house but she would not be happy if I brought him over everytime I came to visit and I respect that.

    My parents like Xavier very much and watch him everytime we go out of town and can’t take him with us. But Xavier has never been inside their house and only on their lawn once. They live 1.4 miles away so they just drive up and care for him at our house.

    My MIL says Xavier is welcome at her house and so when we make the 12 hour drive to go visit her he comes along. Same for my SIL – we walk over from MIL’s house and Xavier is totally allowed in her house and welcomed.

    Try to remember that although you feel BadAss is your child (same as I feel about Xavier) he really is an animal after all and so while it would be totally rude for R to ask you to not bring your child over – it isn’t really rude to ask that you not bring your dog into her house. 🙂 Again calling you out in public and her general behavior regarding BadAss has been bad – but her suggestion that you should leave him alone and the only issue would be cleaning up his mess and not his discomfort shows that she is not at all an animal person.

    You have to choose to accept her and all her non animal personness or find a new friend because she isn’t likely to change.

  2. I kind of get someone saying they would prefer not having an animal in their home. People have allergies or expensive furniture or whatever and, like you said, it IS their house. BUT, as an animal lover, I can’t imagine forcing someone to choose between the friendship and their pet, or making someone feel guilty for spending quality time with and taking good care of their pet.

    I’d say she’s being pretty unreasonable…

  3. I would say neither one of you are bitches. I am not an animal person, and I understand why she wouldn’t want a dog at her house, even though I’m sure Badass is indeed badass. I get that it might hurt her feelings that you can’t come to her parties because of your pet but she needs to see what a responsible decision that is. You are a good pet owner and must occasionally make sacrifices to continue being so. Good luck!

  4. I have to say I’m with pessimistic on this one.
    You’re both right.
    I’m SO not a pet person (though I’ve been enlisted into the dog hell I live in now).
    It would probably bother me if my best friend wouldn’t come over without her pet in tow.
    BUT she could have handled it a little gentler since she knows you love Badass.
    She’ll never see it your way, Cat. But she obviously still loves you.

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