Twentysomething Blogger Debate #1

The Twenty Something Bloggers group will be asking members to weigh in on different topics every two weeks.

It’s time for new years resolutions. What is one thing about yourself that you are definitely NOT changing?

I had a little trouble with this one, but I’m going with my smart ass mouth. Not because I’m super proud of it, but more out of honesty and inevitability. Believe it or not, I used to be worse about not thinking before I speak. When I’m angry, or making fun of someone I care about, I’ve learned to stop and consider the possible consequences and reactions. I still haven’t managed to apply that filter in other situations.

We had a manager in my office that was missing the top half of his pointer finger. Not only did I collaborate on a story about how he lost it, namely that he was picking his nose and his tapeworm ate it, but I created a secret handshake- the “high four and a half” that made it all the way to the owners. Imagine the look on my face when my boss looked at me and said “give me high four and a half!”

Or when my least favorite intern, the one with horrendous fashion sense, wore a blue jumper, white tights and blue boots, along with pig tail braids. I saw her coming into the lobby behind me and commented to B in front of another coworker; “Oh, here comes Heidi of the Alps!”, and the coworker continued to ask B “Who is Heidi? Who is she talking about? She said Heidi was coming?!” as Heidi walked through the lobby and out the door. Her other alias is “Sweatpants Sally”, due to her undying devotion to Capri sweatpants. That’s just another example of my fine work.

My father in law is a thrifty guy, who likes to tease me when I don’t order off of the dollar menu when he’s buying lunch. I told my husband that if we stuck a piece of coal up his ass, we’d have a diamond in a week, and my loverly WH told my father in law what I said! Lucky for me, my father in law has one hell of a sense of humor.

These are just a few of the samples of my reflexive smart assed nature- there are plenty that I can’t even share here, because, oh, the shame. I’ve been this way since I could talk, so I doubt that at the late age of 28 I’ll suddenly turn a new leaf. Besides, my boss would take my temperature if I didn’t give him my signature parting shot as he knocks off early for the golf course. “Hey, boss, if you can’t put in a whole day, you know, just do what you can!”

Other Twentysomething Bloggers:

Chasing Paradise

Twentysomething and Clueless

Speak On It

This Is Not My Life


9 Responses

  1. Oh you meanie you…

    I like the last one, I shall be using that on the early leavers on a Friday.

  2. I. LOVE. this post.

  3. I am a smartass too and it is not always the best thing. I try to think before I speak but it isn’t always so easy. Luckily, the people who know me know that I am not doing it to be mean.

  4. “High four and a half!” Sick – but brilliant!!!

  5. How the hell do you get away with that?
    No way that I would.
    I have to save all my snark for behind their backs. LOL.
    LMAO!!!!!! Heidi of the Alps. *snicker* I feel kind of guilty enjoying that.

  6. I am guilty of this type of mouth too – and it has bit me a few times, but more often it has caused me great enjoyment as I laugh at others expense. I have tried without success to put an end to it as well but like you have toned it down to an acceptable level for family harmony and corporate success.

    Cracking up about your FIL – good thing his sense of humor is there! And what was your husband thinking telling him that?

  7. I ❤ this. Yay for smart-ass mouthes.

  8. AMEN. I’m not changing my smart ass mouth either, I’m also not going to change my sailor mouth. Cause FUCK, sometimes it just helps emphasize what is it you MEAN.

  9. Oh yes, please do not change that. I love me some mean-ish humor.

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