Do you see anything interesting, internet? Something besides the one room in the house that I allow to go to absolute hell? What you should see is a BIRD in my HOUSE. A very LIVE bird. The poor thing got in somehow, and I spent all of Saturday afternoon trying to get it out. I found it in the bathroom, between the shade and the window. I was investigating what I thought was a poor confused birdy on the outside of the house, so when it flew at my head, I overreacted a little, and Badass was ready to destroy the house to get at whatever made his Mama screech that way. Birdie landed here. I made a deal with the bird- you stay put while I get ready to take Badass for a long walk. I will leave the front door wide open, and you, little birdy, will leave. Peaceably. Without pooping on anything. I also won’t tell any of my four cats (who are all sleeping out in the yard, in the sun), that you’re in here.

I thought we had a deal. Badass and I got home, and the birdy was gone. I looked everywhere. At one point I heard something hit the dryer, figured it was a cat. As the sun was setting, the power went out. I happened to be on the phone with my Dad, so I called him back on my cell, put Badass in the car and drove around town, since the cell doesn’t work at home and the power was out anyway. When I got home, the birdy was laying dead on my kitchen floor. Poor, poor birdy! I felt so bad! We had a deal, birdy! I cried, just a little, and then proceeded to kinda poke at it with my Swiffer to assure that it was in fact dead and not just stunned. Dead, and with four cats and a German Shephard in the house, you can’t leave dead stuff just laying around. So, I put on some latex gloves (birds are dirty!), and gingerly picked it up by it’s pretty little beak and put it in a ziploc bag and put the bag in the freezer.

WH might want the feathers for his fly-tying! I thought about this, weighing my options. I am less likely to get in trouble for leaving a frozen bird carcass in the freezer than for having thrown out a bird that has good feathers without even asking. Crazy but true.

Also, this is the most interesting animal (and the only live one) we had in the house this weekend, certainly not the only. The cats brought me two field mice and a mole, and there was a jumpy spider running around the bathroom while I was in the tub this morning. Did you know that Scrubbing Bubbles will not kill or incapacitate a jumpy spider? A dirty bath towel and my foot does, though.

Um, why does all the wildlife come around while WH is gone?! I’m almost scared to go home tonight!


2 Responses

  1. What is so sad is that I DO know that Scrubbing Bubbles doesn’t incapacitate spiders. *Sigh*. Somehow I became the official spider/ugly insect/bee herder in my house and I don’t like bugs.
    Your bird story is good. Oh, and I know what you mean about the feathers too. LOL.
    A mole? Really? No shit.

  2. Omigod, yeah, um, hi I would’ve FREAKED OUT. Between the bird and the mice and the mole and the spiders. Seriously – you would’ve had to institutionalize me. Or give me lots of wine.

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